こんちゃ、暑いのう。よう来たのお
Hello there, it's so hot today. Good of you to come.

こんにちわ。あの、今日はご相談があって参りました
Hello. Um, I came today because I have something I'd like to consult you about.

わかっちょる。それ以外の用事で来る者はおらんけ。スコッチは？
I know. No one comes here for any other reason. Scotch?

え、ウィスキーのことですか？
Eh, you mean whiskey?

リラックスするけん。タバコもあるっちゃ
It helps you relax. I have cigarettes too.

実は私の前世のことなんですが、エジプトの神官だったみたいなんですね
Actually, it's about my past life - I think I was an Egyptian priest.

思い出したんかい。難儀やのう
So you remembered? That's troublesome.

ええんやないか？　いとこ同士は鴨の味ゆうよ。きょうだいだったらとろとろやね
What's wrong with that? Cousins are a nice treat, but siblings... that's the ultimate indulgence.

あなたは、常識というものがないんどすか？
Seriously, do you lack basic common sense?

常識あって魔女なんぞやっとれるかい。それで、見るんか
If I had common sense, I wouldn't be a witch, would I? So, are you seeing this?

ええ、夜ごと、夢で
Yes, every single night, in my dreams.

気持ちええんか
Does it feel good?

それが嫌で。私、彼氏いるんです
But I hate it. I already have a boyfriend.

ははあ、カレシよりええんやな
Aha! So it's better than your boyfriend, is it?

そんなことはないはずです
That can't be true.

困ったのお
Oh dear, you're in a bind.

せやさかいに相談にきてまっしゃろ
That's exactly why I came to see you for advice!

ある意味、そりゃあ、あんさんの願望やな。まっとええセックスしたいんやろ
In a way, that's really just your desire, isn't it? You must just want better sex.

あの、そんなあけすけな言い方は、失礼だと思います
Um, I think speaking so frankly is rather rude.

ええやん、女同士なんやし。それに、そのことで相談に来たわけやろ？
Come on, we're both women! Besides, this is what you came to talk about, right?

そうなんですが
Well, yes, but...

もうここは、その夢で気持ちよかったことカレシに教えたるしかないな
You have no choice but to just tell your boyfriend how good that dream made you feel.

そんな、はしたない
I couldn't possibly! That's so shameless!

一生性的に損するで？　ええんか？
You'll miss out sexually for your entire life, you know? Are you okay with that?

いやです
No, I don't want to.

それで、どないなるの？
So, what actually happens?

子宮が光ってスパークするっていうか
My uterus glows and kind of sparks, I guess.

・・・　どないしたらそんなになるの？　それにあんさん男なんやろ。夢の中では
... How does that even happen? And in the dream, you're a man, right?

それはそうなんですが、自分の子宮がそう感じるんです。あの、口では言えないのですが、あれをこうしてこうやって・・・
That's true, but it's my own uterus that feels it! Um, it's hard to describe, but by doing *that* and *that* with *that*...

そんなことを？　聞いたこともない。すげぇ
Seriously? I've never heard of such a thing! That's incredible!

魔女さんでもですか？
Even you, as a witch?

せやで。ええこと聞いたわ。おおきにな。それ、カレシにやったりィ。もう絶対に逃げへんから。それで、他のテクはあんのか
Yep! That was good info. Thanks so much! Go ahead and try that with your boyfriend. He'll never leave you. So, do you have any other 'techniques'?

せなら、これなんか、どうどすか
In that case, how about this one?

で、タロットはええんか？　一応、未来も占ったりしちょるけど
So, do you not want a Tarot reading? I do tell the future, too, you know.

わてえは先のことなど興味ないんどす
I'm not interested in what the future holds.

ええな。そういう生き方が一番や。ほなら、２０ポンドいただきます
Good for you. That's the best way to live. Alright, that'll be 20 pounds, then.